sometimes I thought it was a shower missing
tonight the shower only helped wake me up
It didn’t help me think harder.
But woken up now I remember
wanting to be in my room for days, writing
locked door et al. figuring things out for other people
and tonight I wanted to start that locked door
because I heard myself shunning people
people I probably love, just pushing them away

and I keep pushing off that feeling of sleep.
the what I fear to be indefinite sleep,
the one that keeps me awake.
there then, thought overriding emotion, or at least overriding a feeling.
perhaps just one instance in my life
because if it occurred elsewhere I’d have to change my philosophy.