If only I could transfer some of the heat from my cheeks and my forehead
To the rest of my body. Then I could maintain a constant temperature.
And I think that might help me think of myself as a normal human being.
Instead I wake up with sweat stains on my pillow,
and four blankets double folded on the bottom half of my body.
I'd like to think of these fevers as my muse burning inside me,
but they seem to be accompanied by a cough and a runny nose,
so I fear it's just me not taking care of myself, and not a desire to create.
I spend Friday night waiting for Sunday, the day I can get my shit together
Clean my room, eat a good meal, plan my week, and sleep 12 hours.
By the time Sunday comes though I’m burned out, shivering and waiting for the sun to go down.
I saw the sun go down today, from a tree house by the lake.
Actually I got there right after the sun went down, when it was behind a hill
and out of my line of sight. I saw a hawk though, it flew over the tree house,
and you see hawks less often than you see sunsets, or at least that’s true for me.